Archive for February 25th, 2010

Wonder Woman sets Achilles up on a gay blind date!

Matchmaker matchmaker, make me a match…

In the latest issue of Wonder Woman (#41), Diana arranged a meeting between the king of the Gargareans known as Achilles a.k.a. Warkiller and a Real Estate agent. After Achilles makes an impressive entrance on his 2-trunked, 3-eyed flying elephant, he agrees to buy the property (which is apparently the Playboy Mansion) in exchange for many “buckets of gold.” Those well versed in their ancient Greek mythology will notice the similarity between the name of the real estate agent … Patrick Cleese and Achilles’ beloved Patroclus. It wasn’t lost on Achilles either. He voices gratitude to Diana for the set up and decides he isn’t alone in “Man’s World.”

The relationship between Achilles and Patroclus is a key element of the myths associated with the Trojan War. Its exact nature has been a subject of dispute in both the classical period and modern times. In the Iliad, it is clear that the two heroes have a deep and extremely meaningful friendship, but the evidence of a romantic or sexual element is equivocal.

Wonder Woman #41 Wonder Woman #41 Wonder Woman #41 Wonder Woman #41

Commentators from the classical period to today have tended to interpret the relationship through the lens of their own cultures. Thus, in 5th century BC Athens the relationship was commonly interpreted as pederastic. Contemporary readers are more likely to interpret the two heroes either as non-sexual “war buddies” or as an egalitarian homosexual couple.

Isn’t it sweet of Diana to set Achilles up with (I’m guessing) his true love reincarnated? Since she first announced his orientation, I was wondering how Gail Simone was going to work Achilles being gay into her storyline but now we know. I’m equally thrilled at the idea of the Playboy Mansion being their gay love nest.

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Are they worthy of the Star Spangled Pajamas?

Despite talk of casting an unknown as Steve Rogers in Captain America: First Avenger, The Hollywood Reporter has reported 6 familiar faces auditioning for the role of Steve Rogers this week: John Krasinski, Michael Cassidy, Mike Vogel, Patrick Flueger, Scott Porter and Chace Crawford. Are any of them worthy of wielding Caps Shield?

I’m wondering if they plan to do Cap’s body with CG because although it is an attractive group, none of these boys have that Super Soldier Serum look. Click on the images below to see them fullsize AND read the accompanying captions about their professional history my thoughts on their suitability. Read all about them (captions appear under fullsize images) and then let me know about your thoughts on these candidates.

John Krasinski (The Office, License to Wed, Away We Go) is one of the bigger names on the list, but I just don't see "Jim Halpert" as Captain America. Maybe Hank Pym, but NOT Steve Rogers. Michael Cassidy (The OC, Dare, Zoom, Smallville, Privileged) starred in a 2005 gay short film called Dare, where he portrayed Johnny, a popular high schooler, who has a short interaction with Ben, the light boy of the drama department. He was charming as the be-smitten best friend on Previleged, but I'm not sure how he'll be as an action hero. Mike Vogel (Wuthering Heights, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Grounded For Life, Supercross, The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, Havoc, Rumor Has It, Poseidon, Caffeine, The Deaths of Ian Stone, Cloverfield, Empire State, Across the Hall, Open Graves, Blue Valentine, She's Out of My League, Miami Medical) has an extensive filmography including feature films and TV. He's also the blondest of the six (I know they can dye hair... but I have 4 words on that... Jessica Alba Susan Storm). I like the look of him for Steve Rogers.
Patrick Flueger (4400, Kill Theory, The Job, Brothers) made a number of appearances on shows ranging from family dramas like Judging Amy and Boston Public to crime shows like Law and Order and CSI before landing the role of healer Shawn Farrell on USA Network's The 4400. He can be a boyscout, but can he be a super soldier? Scott Porter (Speed Racer, Friday Night Lights, Masterwork, The Good Guy, Bandslam, Dear John, Caprica) popped up on my radar recently on the SYFY BSG prequel series... Caprica as Nestor (one of the husbands of polyamorous num Sister Clarice Willow). I like him on Caprica, but he's have to harden to be a WW2 legend. Chace Crawford (The Covenant, The Haunting of Molly Hartley, Gossip Girl, Family Guy, Footloose) is an intersting possibility if only to see his face on a Super Soldier Serum treated Steve Rogers body. Whether they do it with 3D or he goes the Taylor Lautner route, I'd be VERY happy to see pretty boy Chace build a action star physique. As to his acting ability, I don't know usually too busy imagining ways to defile him to pay attention to what he says.

Apparently also considered but unavailable due to schedule conflicts were “Supernatural” stud Jenson Ackles and Garret Hedlund of the upcoming “Tron Legacy.” Other possibilities bandied about since the movie was announced have included Will Smith, Matthew McConaughey, Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt, but they seem to have fallen by the wayside since the news about wanting an “unknown” leaked.

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